Wedding Gifts: Do's and Don'ts?
By Sher Matsen
When it comes to weddings, both the bride & groom, and
the guests worry about wedding gift etiquette. These dos and donts will keep
you on the right gift giving track!
I bet your wondering where the idea of wedding gifts
originated? Youll have to travel back to the time when men no longer bartered for
their wives. With the tradition of choosing your bride, also came the tradition of friends
and family bearing gifts. In those days articles were functional and useful additions to
the couples house, making their lives easier.
The Grecians were into presenting lush and lavish gifts.
It was a big competition to see who could present the most lavish gift. Brides and grooms
were presented with precious jewelry, gold vases, magnificent clothing or furniture.
These days things have really changed. Wedding gift
etiquette of the past, simply does not work today. For couples who have been married
before they already have all the household toys, so what is one to buy? Even if a couple
has not been married before, most have run their own households so they still have
everything they need. Many couples request no gifts. Some will ask for cash gifts, so they
can put the funds towards a vacation, a house, or bigger ticket item. Is this okay? How
big of wedding gift should one buy? It seems no matter what a person buys, they feel
theyve not spent enough, or bought the wrong type of gift. Relax!! And go with the
modern day flow!
The best thing the bride and groom can do for their
guests, it to let them know what you are looking for. Funny, brides and grooms feel bad
playing the what they need card, and guests are too uncomfortable to broche
the subject for fear of offending the bride and groom.
First, its okay for the wedding couple to ask for
cash only. The correct way is to include a little note in the invitation that reads
something like. Because we are saving for [insert item] we would appreciate cash donations
in lieu of gifts. Thanks so much! Its simple and to the point and these days people
understand. For many its much easier than trying to figure out what you need.
If you are blending two households that are financially
set, and you dont want any gifts or cash, then make a note of this on your
invitation. Some people will feel uncomfortable with not providing a gift. So you could
include a note that reads. We would like to decline any gifts. If you would like to give,
please donate to our favorite charity [insert here]. Many thanks! Or, you can indicate
they can donate to their favorite charity.
If you are going to be accepting gifts, then do your
guests a favor and have several wedding gift registries set up at various stores. This
will alleviate a lot of stress for your guests and insure you receive items you really
need or want.
My daughters wedding is coming up shortly. Her and
her fiancée are planning to take a 6 month backpacking trip into South America, right
after the wedding. So their gift registry is made up of the camping supplies they will
need. Be creative! Fine tune your gift registry to what you want and need. It
will please your guests to know they are spending their hard earned money on something you
will actually use.
These days, anything goes. The only big tip about wedding
gift etiquette is to be polite in your requests. Youll feel better and so will your
© Copyright Sher Matsen, All Rights Reserved.
About the author:
Sher from Estate Jewelry International have been serving customers for over 20 years,
providing affordable estate jewelry, and a wealth of information on jewelry, fashion,
designers, and beauty with on staff industry professionals. Please visit us at Estate